


Trembling Happiness

by kijikun



Series: The Village [2]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, M/M, Post-Sburb/Sgrub, Relationship Problems, Side Story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-29
Updated: 2013-01-29
Packaged: 2017-11-27 09:07:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,147
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/660234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kijikun/pseuds/kijikun
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rufioh's been meaning to break up with Horuss for a while now.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Trembling Happiness

**Author's Note:**

> Beta: Universe-c
> 
> Takes place sometime after chapter 8 of 'and the little children'.

Rufioh is so tired his wings droop. Aerial patrols suck. Being up during the day sucks. The nights on this planet suck - too dark.. This whole place sucks.

He's also so sick of eating fish he could scream.

He stumbles into the hive he shares with Horuss. He never did work the nerve up to break up with him. He keeps thinking he'll do it. He'll say something and then he'll be -- what? 

Free?

Rufioh's not sure he wants that. He just -- being with Horuss stopped being fun sweeps ago. Horuss is great on the concupiscent couch, yeah, and he's pretty bishonen when he's not hiding his face --

Yeah, wait this is sort of having the opposite effect of making him want to break up with the guy.

He drags himself into the livingblock - having to go sideways through the door - and finds the other reason he's still with Horuss.

Horuss and the kids - who really should be in their piles - are on the floor coloring. Little cat-girl two looks to be adding to her shipping chart and explaining it in detail to her captive male audience. Horuss looks up at Rufioh approach and gives him a smile that's not at all forced or overwrought like some of his smiles.

Horuss is good with the kids.

"Rufioh is home," Horuss tells the children.

Tavros jumps up and runs over to hug Rufioh's leg. He has to admit he's fond of the little guy, reminds him of himself at the age. 

Equius gives an almost shy wave before going back to listening to Nepeta. 

Rufioh moves closer, with Tavros still hugging his leg prompting squealing laughter from the boy. "Adding to the chart, doll?" he asks Nepeta.

Nepeta nods, finishing coloring a bright red heart between what is labeled in bold block letters 'Karkat' and 'Jade'. "Yes," she says brightly, reminding him a bit of how happy Meu always used to be. 

"She insists that Karkat and the human girl Jade are destined to be matesprits," Horuss says. There's more amusement in his voice that disapproval though. 

"They make each other purrfectly happy," Nepeta says, interrupting herself with a very adorable yawn. "That's what matesprits do, right? Make each other happy."

"Yeah, doll," Rufioh agrees. It's far more than that, but she's a tad young to know that. 

She yawns again and climbs up into Horuss' lap, batting at the ends of his hair.

"Alright, children. I said you may stay up until Rufioh arrived at the hive. It is now time to go to your piles."

He stands up, on strong arm curling around Nepeta to carry her. 

"Night, Rufioh!" Tavros chirps, hugging his leg again, then letting go to cling to Horuss' pants leg.

"Good night," Equius says, taking Horuss' hand. 

Rufioh watches Horuss take them down the hall and shakes his head. He doesn't know how Horuss keeps up with them. He kind of adores them all, even Nepeta - she's just too adorable not to - but they wear him out just looking at them sometimes.

He heads into the other block to see if Horuss left him anything to eat. Sure enough there's a plate of food waiting. It's fish, but there's no helping that.

When he's finished stuffing his face - wow he was hungry - he goes back to the livingblock. He's a little taken aback to find Horuss on his knees holding one of Nepeta's pictures. It looks likes a cartoonish version of him and Horuss with a bright heart between them. Horuss' head is bowed over the picture and there's something about the set of his shoulders that tugs at Rufioh's bloodpusher. 

"Horuss?"

Horuss doesn't look up. Rufioh watches as Horuss touches the heart on the picture. "I do not make you happy do I?"

Rufioh's stares, his buccal cavity hanging open. He - he never thought - it never entered his 'pan once that Horuss noticed.

Horuss nods slightly when Rufioh doesn't answer. "I haven't made you happy in a very long time," he sounds so despairing. 

Rufioh's bloodpusher aches. "You don't make me unhappy," he tries. 

Horuss makes a low mournful whirring sound. "I want you to be happy, Rufioh. Even if that means you leaving me. I would not trap you in a matespritship you do not wish for."

He won't look at Rufioh, just keeps staring at that drawing. Rufioh's wings twitch at his back. He wants to run away, fly away. He doesn't want to deal with this.

"Don't you pity me anymore?" Rufioh says, sounding pathetic to his own hear handles. It's not even what he meant to say, but the thought of Horuss not pitying him hurts in ways Rufioh didn't think possible.

Horuss' whole corpse meat shakes. "I pity you far too much to keep you prisoner. There's a smaller hive I can move to with Equius and Nepeta. Unless you wish to keep them. Equius and Tavros have bonded greatly and I would dislike separating them."

Horuss shakes again. A drop of blue hits the paper.

Horuss is _crying_. 

Rufioh covers his face. He - he could just let this happen. It would make things easier and didn't he want to break up with Horuss? 

Didn't he --

Didn't he wake up feeling safe because Horuss' strong arm was around him?

Didn't he smile every time he saw his blue blooded troll down on the floor playing with the children like he was a wiggler too?

Didn't he feel so damn proud when he sees all the ways Horuss contributes to the village?

Didn't he still pity Horuss?

"I don't want to leave you," Rufioh whispers.

One of Horuss' fists clench. "Please do not lie to me."

Rufioh moves across the floor and drops to his knees beside Horuss. He wraps his wings and arms around his matesprit. "I'm not lying."

Horuss trembles.

Rufioh shifts, then pushes off that stupid hat and goggles Horuss hides behind. Normally he only sees Horuss' eyes when they're about to sleep or pail, but he remembers how kind Horuss' eyes were all those sweeps ago. That kindness is what drew him to Horuss in the first place. 

He wipes tears away from Horuss' face. "I pity you," Rufioh whispers. 

Maybe redrom isn't as easy in real life as it is in the animes. And what the fuck reason is being bored to break up with your matesprit?

Horuss very careful strokes his fingers over Rufioh's jaw line. Rufioh can feel the contained strength behind the gentle touch. For all Horuss' strength, he's never made Rufioh feel trapped or afraid. 

Rufioh makes a soft trill. He doesn't remember the last time he trilled for Horuss and maybe Horuss doesn't either from the awestruck expression on his matesprit's face. 

"It pity you," Rufioh repeats, then kisses Horuss.

Horuss trills back, kisses back.

Rufioh thinks that right now? He's pretty happy.

And that's a start.

**Author's Note:**

> "Love is trembling happiness." - Khalil Gibran
> 
> "Love does not begin and end the way we seem to think it does. Love is a battle, love is a war; love is a growing up. " - James A. Baldwin


End file.
